Dandelion bow tie pasta

You can use dandelion stems to replace some of the pasta in your dish, so much so that you can get away with using even less than a cup of pasta per person, which saves a lot of carbohydrates.

Into salted boiling water, dump in your pasta, and then after a few minutes some chopped dandelion stems Depending on their age, they can be kind of bitter, so this boiling will diffuse any bitterness and you’re gonna dump out the water anyway. Wait five minutes and throw in some broccoli and chopped leeks. Wait a few more minutes, just before the pasta is done, in fact, and throw in some chopped dandelion greens. Once these wilt and your pasta is done, drain the whole thing.

Sauce is melted butter with softened garlic, salt and pepper, Mexican saffron, cos it’s so cheap, cream, yogurt, and a nice cheese. You don’t need much since the flavours are all elsewhere anyway. Once this is melted, dump your drained stuff back in. Pine nuts go well with this.

Dandelion pizza

It was bound to happen.  Chances are, if I like something, it goes on pizza, and the deliciousness that is dandelion is no exception.

Roll out your pizza dough unless you are super cool and can toss it into shape. Mine ended up being naan dough into which I had put sliced leeks.  It really was a nice addition.
Slather tomato sauce on top of it.
Rip off a handful of dandelion leaves and throw them in a food processor with some garlic and jalapeño.  Whir, then scatter on the sauce.
I used queso fresco because I wanted something not-so-melty.  I’m sure anything would work here.  I’d have used feta if I had had any.
Freshly ground black pepper and some sea salt went on top, with some fresh oregano and basil.
Bake for 15-20 minutes somewhere in the neighbourhood of 375.

The password is…fire

I’m still eating dandelion leaves.  There is no stopping.  Next weekend, I’m gathering all the leaves that haven’t been sprayed with weed killer and haven’t been peed on by dogs, and I’m going to blanch and freeze them all.

But for now, I’m eating them for breakfast, like so:

Dice some potatoes and toss in melted butter in your pan.  Once they are browned nicely, throw in some minced onion, and shortly after that, some bits of garlic, salt and freshly ground pepper.  Hack some dandelion leaves to bits and add handfuls since they will cook down.

While this is all cooking, take a slab of wild salmon and throw it on an open flame.  I got rid of my barbecue grill, but I took an all metal cheese grater on which I smeared some butter, put the salmon it it and put it on the gas stove top, which is a brilliant way to cook.  I do tortillas right on the flame like this too, and they are amazing.
When the salmon is nicely cooked on one side, carefully flip it over and introduce the raw side to the fire.  Inhale as your kitchen fills with smoke and love.

Move the vegetables to a bowl and add a little more butter.  Fry up some eggs over medium.  Rescue the firey salmon from the stove and put that on top of the vegetables, then add your eggs.  Cut this all up so the yolk gets everywhere and the salmon intersperses.

Yum.

Dandelion gratin

Basically if you’re not eating dandelions by now, you’re dead to me.  Well, not entirely, but I expect a valid reason for why you’re opting out of this totally inexpensive, if not free, healthy tasty green that is full of love and nature and is the food of choice for unicorns.

My fridge right now is practically bursting with these leaves.  Visitors think I keep rabbits.  I do not.

It’s the perfect time of year for gratin also, since you can leave your door open whilst your oven is on, and you’ve just taken your gratin dishes down from the high shelves to dust and wash them for spring.

As usual, there won’t so much be a recipe here as a recount of what goes in.  That, friends, is foreshadowing.  The key here is to use hyperexpensive cheeses.  Like, skip a meal so you can afford the cheese.  Don’t let me hear that you’ve used velveeta or anything.

Grease your gratin dish.  Margarine is unacceptable.
Potatoes in thin slivers line the dish.  Make it look like roofing shingles.
Minced garlic atop the potatoes.  Remain unconcerned if some should fall through the spaces in your shingles because those will roast and make you hungry as well as burn just a smidge and add another layer of flavour.
Top all this with leeks.  It’s at this point that you want to start planning the look for which you are going.  If you want to shred everything, fine, cut your leeks into razor-thin bits.  If you are going for a man-gratin, cut strips or rectangles.  Layer these, weave them, whatever you want to do.  It’s an art project.
Here’s another path on which you can veer.  The dandelion leaves go next, so either blanch them or don’t, chop them up finely or don’t.  I think having a long piece of leek, but almost packing material dandelion leaves is great.
Veer again.  This is practically a quantum gratin.  Egg mixture or not, with or without milk, but butter and cheese are crucial.  Just stick some butter knobs throughout.  Shave some cheese.  Gruyere, Swiss, beloved manchego, all of these are good.  If you’re making a bechamel or mornay sauce  and use nutmeg, you can totally use gjetost, which you can make at home, or buy.
Anyway, top all this goodness with breadcrumbs or panko, bake for 20-25 minutes around 350 and check for unicorn tracks on top after.  You can throw it under the broiler if you need to.

Dandelion leaf soup

I think I’m up to day five of dandelion leaves and they’re still as amazing as day one.  Curries and spinach substitutions mainly thus far, but tonight I felt like soup.  I’m looking forward to this weekend’s dandelion hunt: leaves for eating, roots for roasting and making coffee.

Huge bundle of carefully washed dandelion leaves.  It’s still early enough in the season you can leave the stems on.
Just as carefully washed leek
1 Potato
Garlic
1 Carrot
3T white miso
1/4 Meyer lemon
Fresh basil
Butter

Hack everything to bits and saute veggies a bit in some butter, just to colour them up nicely.  Add water or vegetable stock and simmer until the potatoes have softened nicely.  Squeeze your lemon in about halfway through and drop it in to cook along with everything.  Add the chopped basil and some more butter just before you stop cooking.  I threw in some Laughing Cow swiss cheese at the very end, but it would be good with yoghurt also.

I just googled for this, and it appears the French have a version called creme de pissenlits, which you could follow if you wanted something milk-based.

Dandelion leaf soup with leeks and potatos

Dandelion curry

The alarmingly fresh asparagus I had yesterday got me wanting more Spring-type meals, so for dinner, I’m making dandelion curry, which IS Spring. (Plus curry.)

Also, I’m making it in my rice cooker, without rice.  Take that, Peter Peter, pasta eater.

The recipe is:
1 bunch of highly washed dandelion leaves, the thick stems having been removed
1/2 onion
some chopped leeks
garlic
turmeric
pineapple pieces, I used fresh, but whatever
can of coconut milk
thinned down peanut butter
mustard seed
cumin

Throw everything in the rice cooker, type up your recipe, and come back when you hear the click.  Done, son.